This year's festival was the best yet, with all teams coming together to make a really enjoyable evening.

But I wanted to give you, dear reader, an inside look at what it takes to do something like this. You see, I was the writer/director for my team--Team UPT.

REPRESENT!

My team was certainly filled with quality actors. I had KC Dill, Nathan Bell, David Strock, and my wife Shelley. These are the kinds of people who could be working professionally as actors under the right circumstances...and by "right circumstances" I don't mean incriminating photos of the management at Paramount. I mean talent.

I felt good going into it as a writer/director this year. I had a full team and could concentrate purely on the writing and directing, whereas last year I lost an actor right before the show and had to fill in myself in addition to doing the writing and directing. (I wanted no fewer than four actors, since I didn't want to burden three actors with memorizing all the lines for the entire show. Trust me, there's a big difference in the number of lines four actors have to memorize as opposed to three.)

The character I ended up playing wore a fur-lined jockstrap, panties, and a nice pair of brown wingtips with long black socks. I learned that when you are writing a play that you're in, you can be pretty hard on yourself. I would never have written such a thing unless I knew I had a fool such as myself to play the part. Of course, Erica Cooperrider still gets points for playing my scantily-clad counterpart. Go Erica!

So this year I was feeling good. I'd done this festival twice before, I knew what to expect. I had complete control over every aspect of the production (which is good because I am a control freak). They even randomly selected my theme for this year's show!

"Death."

Love it! So I went home and sat down in front of a blank screen and felt no pressure. I had ideas. I was set. But there was a problem. Earlier that morning I'd gathered some helpers and drove up to Greenfield Ranch to help a friend clear brush from around her fire-threatened house. We worked hard for about three hours and the smoke was thick, making breathing difficult at times. By the time I was finished I wasn't exhausted, but the smoke and the manual labor had significantly drained my battery. And this is the first year I've helped to run the festival, so after I finished clearing brush I headed into UPT where I worked up until the teams started arriving.

As I sat before the screen, the ideas kept swirling about in my head and I found myself getting sleepier, and sleepier. Then Ten o'clock approached and I knew I was in trouble. Writing these plays takes at least four hours and I hadn't even started yet.

I rarely get to bed before 2am usually, so when I found myself wanting to nod off at 10...well, oh dear. But I battled it. I played loud music in my headphones for a while but that wasn't exactly conducive to the creative process. I stepped outside for a breath of cold air, but the smoke had crept down from the hills to rest itself in my back yard, sending me back into my muggy home.

So I stayed there, bouncing ideas around with Shelley...just waiting for inspiration to take me by the nose and lead me to success. But I kept falling asleep. I hadn't written one word yet and I kept wanting to fall asleep. So I did what anyone else would do in that situation. I grabbed a Ouija board and played with that for about an hour with our friend Kelly.

My father had recently discovered the Ouija board along with a bunch of my belongings in his basement and it had been years since I'd used it. It worked like a charm. Within a couple minutes I was communicating with the spirit realm. And NO long distance charges applied.

Anyway, we finished with that, and I started to have an inkling of an idea on how to incorporate the use of a Ouija board into a show with the theme of death. I started to wonder what it must be like for the spirit...just floating around somewhere...waiting...hoping someone somewhere will whip out a Ouija board so they can chat. There was something to this line of thought. It felt right. I was pretty sure this was the direction I wanted to move in.

But just having a vague idea does not help the fact that the computer screen was still completely blank. I started to panic. This had never happened before. I was always able to go to the well. It was always full. But I was so sleepy I couldn't think straight.

Then I fell asleep at 11. For 45 minutes. I had an alarm set. I woke up and started writing...hoping the 45 minute power-nap might invigorate me. And it did...just enough to give me the energy to write the first few lines. I wasn't sure where the story was headed, but I saw a spirit hanging around a Ouija board session in which a guy who was passing himself off as a psychic was trying to seduce his not-so-bright date through his Ouija board.

This is all very well, but what would the story be? It can't just be a scene. When you're writing a one-act play (even if it's no longer than 13 minutes) you still have to have a beginning, middle, and and end. It still needs to be a real story. It's not a sketch comedy show like Saturday Night Live (which seems to revel in finding one joke and repeating it over and over and over and over again until the next commercial break).

It was now 2am. I decided I needed to take a drive. So I headed over to the USA Mini-Mart on North State Street where I bought very bad things. Little chocolate donuts, a fruit pie, a bag of sunflower seeds, and a giant cup of toffee-flavored coffee. Enough sugar and caffeine and salt and chemicals to make my heart jump...in anticipation. On the drive the rest of the story started to fall into place. It was working. The coffee was starting to take hold. The sugar was making my fingers twitch but that didn't matter because soon they were striking the keyboard.

I wrote until the sun came up. I finished just before 7am. I had pulled an "all-nighter". Something I hadn't done in well over a decade. And when I had finished I was pleased. My play, "Whee! Gee!" made sense. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. And I thought it was pretty funny. But would anyone else like it?

Next time...DIRECTING in a DAY!

Please accept my deep regrets.

As a matter of fact, one of my friends said his mom contacted him and told him, "If that UPT blog doesn't get updated soon he's going to lose readers."

And I don't want that to happen, so please...both of you...stick around because I have some important news!

First, we're going to have a unique show here tonight at UPT. It's called "Taste" and it's open to the public for one night only, starting at 8PM. It's actually a word for word reading of one of my all-time favorite authors, Roald Dahl, and it's a story about a dinner party bet gone bad. It's really funny, it's got a great cast, and it's absolutely charming in that Roald Dahl-ish kind of way that Roald Dahl is so famous for.

UPT will also be offering audience members a preview of our next season, complete with songs and a ton of witty patter that's guaranteed to amuse.

Tickets are only $10 and there will be a selection of tasty nibbles available.

NEXT WEEK!!

We'll be offering something very, very unique. It's the third annual 24 Hour Play Festival!

Imagine you're a team of actors, writers, and directors. One night you are given a topic, and within 24 hours you have to write a 12-13 minute play about the topic, memorize the lines of that play, stage it, costume it, and put it on within 24 hours.

That's the 24 Play Festival. Next Saturday, June 28th, at 8pm. It's one of the most interesting, exciting, and dangerous things you can do in theatre. Anything can go wrong! But it's also a total blast, for cast, crew, and audience.

DON'T MISS THE 24 HOUR PLAY FESTIVAL, WHATEVER YOU DO!

We'll have eight teams competing this year representing theatre groups from Lake, Mendocino, and Sonoma Counties. It's only $12 a ticket for one of the oddest sights you'll ever see. If you think I'm kidding, just ask anyone who has packed the house the last couple of years to attend that last two Play Festivals...it's an evening that is NOT to be missed.

Okay, enough hype.

On a serious note, things have not been easy here at UPT lately. There's a lot that can go wrong when you're a non-profit with any kind of overhead. We've cut costs, we've raised money, but we still need help. Donations to UPT have been drying up in this drought of an economy, and donations, grants, and fund raisers typically account for a large portion of our income. The rest of our funding comes from underwriters and ticket sales.

So, we need help. If you're in a position to do so, we would greatly appreciate any donation you might be able to offer.

Ukiah Players Theatre Office 462-1210
Box Office 462-9226
1041 Low Gap Road
Ukiah, CA

So what do we do? We can try to bring them in...or...we can bring theatre to them!

Therefore we will be taking our latest sold-out show...ON THE ROAD!

That's right, if you didn't get a chance to see The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) you'll have a chance to see it next month in Lakeport at the recently renovated Soper-Reese Theatre!

It's been a long time since we've taken a show on the road, and that's really too bad, so we're going to try to take more shows like Complete Works to other nearby theatres, and the Soper-Reese Theatre is a great first stop! Our plan is to be there on May 16, 17, and 18. Keep checking back with us for updates as the shows are finalized. If you haven't seen the Soper-Reese Theatre you should check it out. The lobby is a great example of Art Deco design (from back in its cinema days), and the entire theatre has been going through a big renovation.

I love seeing old theatres getting renovated. Especially the Art Deco ones.

We will also be looking to bring Complete Works to the Mendocino coast, and maybe even The Raven in Healdsburg, just as soon as we work out those details, details, details.

“We are here, we are here, we are here!”—Seussical the Musical

Well, now. Look at us. We’ve finally arrived on the blogosphere, blogging our little theatrical hearts out.

First off, I’d like to tell you how much I, personally, hate the word…

…“blog”.

I know it derives from the fairly innocuous phrase weB LOG, but that doesn’t matter. It’s a terrible word. Really. Say “blog” while looking at yourself in the mirror. There’s no way you can say “blog” and still be attractive.

If “blog” were a drink it would be thick and greenish and taste vaguely of hair.

If “blog” were a pet it would have been inexplicably popular in the ‘70’s as a kind of pathetically unattractive, mobility-challenged creature that you pitied more than loved.

If “blog” were a toy it would leave on your child’s hands a viscous, unnatural smelling residue.

I could go on…but I won’t.

Hey! Why don’t you post some of your suggestions for alternative incarnations of the word, “blog” in the comments section! It’ll be fun.

Anyway, on to business. My name is Keith Aisner. I’m the Production Manager and Marketing Director here at Ukiah Players Theatre, and I get the feeling people don’t “get” UPT. Honestly, I’m pretty sure we’re not on most folks’ radar when they’re considering a night out. Most people in Ukiah will consider going to the movies or the races way before they think of going to the theatre (if they think of us at all).

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not sitting here stewing, feeling rejected or resentful. Not at all. I know it’s just a matter of letting people know one very important fact. And that fact is…

…we’re actually entertaining.

It’s true! I know that if I can get a person to come see one show here at UPT, they’ll be back. I know this to be true because I’ve seen it happen again and again and again. Take the show we’re running right now, “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)”. Now, you might figure that with a ponderous title like that, the show would be a kinda dry, scholarly look at Shakespeare’s plays. You might get the sense that even if the show is trying to be funny, it’ll still be dull.

I think some people associate “community theatre” with “boring” and “awkward” and “preachy”. The very idea of attending a show reminds them of the time they were a kid, forced to sit through some bad play or musical they didn’t understand and went on far too long.

And let’s face it. Not every play is a laugh riot. However, “Complete Works” is by no means dull…guaranteed. We’ve got three actors running around, grabbing audience members, fighting, dressing up as women, and throwing water on each other. Fun, yes…scholarly pursuit, no. No matter how much information on Shakespeare gets slipped into the show, the play never feels like anything close to a lecture.

You know what? I’ll even make you this offer right now. “Complete Works” runs for just one more week. Come see the show. Even if you have never seen a show here before…come on out. If you honestly feel like you wasted your money, call me here at UPT at 707-462-1210 and I will give you your money back. Promise.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that everything we do here is a madcap adventure through Wackyland. We do serious stuff here as well. We have to! We’re putting on plays and plays are stories and not all stories are supposed to be funny. Some of them are…well…dramatic.

I guess what I’m saying is…bottom line…toss us up the list a little, okay? Just once. Give us a shot, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Anyway, in this blog we’ll be giving you special behind-the-scenes views into what goes on at UPT, the regional theatre company in your own back yard. You’ll get to know some of the folks running the joint, as well as some of the personalities who make our organization possible through their volunteerism, donations, and dedication to keeping theatre alive and well here in Ukiah.

And heck, you might even be inspired to come out here and see a show.