Let the madness resume
I really do hate it when Ben Brown is gone.
It’s nothing to do with him personally, although do like him a great deal and his company is always welcome. What I miss most in his absence is that I have to be crime reporter.
And this is my least favorite part of this job.
When he’s gone I live in constant fear that today is going to be that someone will blow a hole in the wall of the county jail, releasing all the inmates before going on a high speed chase which ends in a fiery accident which causes a forest fire which somehow triggers a flood.
Ben’s stories are consistently the most read on both our Web site and in print, mostly because they apply to everyone. Who doesn’t want to know who accidentally shot themselves at the gun range or got caught pretending to be police officers while stealing someone else’s marijuana at gun point?
In the past year since I’ve become a full-time journalist I’ve only had to go to one motorcycle accident, a single house fire and two court dates. While I was there I hated every minute of it.
The thing I hate most about doing Ben’s job is that I’m playing with people’s lives when I write a crime story. Forget to include the word “allegedly” or the phrase “on suspicion of” and you’ve just convicted someone of doing something in print before they ever get their case heard by a jury.
I’m writing this at the end of my Saturday shift here at the Journal because I don’t want to jinx myself, but this time around has been pretty smooth as well.
I’ve been responsible for Ben’s job for the past few days and barring a few close calls the most I’ve had to deal with is the police report and an unsettling story about a child abuser.
My good luck almost ran out today when I heard about a traffic collision south of Willits on Highway 101, but after it was determined to have only minor injuries I was thankfully spared from covering it.
So in summation, I just want to thank all the reckless drivers, criminal masterminds and general degenerates for holding off on your sprees while I am the action reporter.
We always sell more papers when there are big stories and I want the Journal to do well financially, so please continue with your capers starting Monday.
I’ll be miles away, typing about something far less exhilarating, just the way I like it.