House of Burgess

Being a political junkie and an individual who prides himself on being thoughtful in these matters I can think of no larger insult to my intelligence than the celebrity endorsement of a candidate.
I can’t help but feel like I’m being slapped in the face when, after reading countless news articles and books on world events and testing my conclusions with those around me, that I would suddenly be swayed by the whims of someone who pretends to be someone else for a living. (Do you really care who rapper 50 Cent would cast his ballot for if he wasn’t a convicted felon?)
And I don’t think I’m alone in this. A CBS News poll conducted last September revealed that 78 percent of people expected celebrity endorsements to have no affect on the election, while nine percent said endorsements would make people less likely to vote for a candidate.
But even as I’m annoyed by the this phenomenon I am at the same time compelled to follow an even more labor-intensive and, until recently, increasingly rare trend: the campaign song.
I love music and lot of that has to do with the feeling behind it that can be expressed in no other way.
“If I could write music, I'd never have bothered with books,” wrote author Nick Hornsby in his book “Songbook” and I’d have to say agree with him.
The last few elections haven’t produced any significant songwriting such as previous entries like “Nixon’s the One” or “Tippacanoe and Tyler Too.” (But I mean, be honest, do you find yourself wanting to burst into song over the likes of Al Gore or Mike Huckabee? Neither do I.)
But this election cycle’s long, strange trip has once again brought the songwriters among us to the front of the political arena and oh, what a terribly awful time it has been.
On the Obama corner, weighing in at around 300 celebrities is the “song” “Yes We Can” which turns an otherwise inspiring speech by the candidate into a musical car wreck of hopeful voices. The sentiment of change and optimism is commendable, but so is that “We are the World” song and when the was the last time you dropped the needle on that record in your own home?
“Yes We Can” is a classic case of too many cooks in the kitchen and would have benefited from a less cluttered approach. (For some reason actress Scarlett Johanson and basketball star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar were even allowed to drop a few lines.)
The Republican entry, on the other hand, is one-man show that could have used a little more help.
Actually, a lot more.
Earlier this month, country musician Hank Williams Jr. serenaded vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her supporters with a reworked version of his song “Family Tradition” entitled “McCain/Palin Tradition.” (I guess he had some down time in between recording new verses for the “Monday Night Football” theme.)
“John and Sarah tell you just what they think,” Williams intoned at a rally in Virginia Beach, Va. “And they're not gonna blink. And they don't have terrorist friends to whom their careers are linked.”
The only problem with this ditty, besides the fact that it’s barely listenable, is the fact that the original lyrics are basically a pro-marijuana southern rock throwdown.
“They get on me wanna know ‘Hank why do you drink?’/‘Hank why do you roll smoke?’,” goes the original first verse. “‘Why must you live out the songs that you wrote?’/Over and over everybody made my prediction/So if i get stoned/I’m just carryin’ on an old family tradition.”
I guess there was a reason he had to change the words.
“I can’t support the legalization of marijuana,” said McCain at a debate at Dartmouth College in 1999. “Scientific evidence indicates that the moment that it enters your body, one, it does damage, and second, it can become addictive. It is a gateway drug.”
I can think of plenty of reasons to vote or not vote for either presidential candidate, but if a celebrity endorsement or a campaign song was the deciding factor for you, I encourage you to instead cast your vote for your preferred choice on “American Idol.” (It’s so much easier anyway.)