House of Burgess

As I watched the inaugural parade make its slow drive from the steps of Congress to the White House on Tuesday, I saw that I had a new voicemail on my cell phone.
“Hey Rob,” I heard my Dad’s voice say as I pressed the device to my head. “I wanted to know why we had to say at the coronation of King Obama, ‘long live the King.’ I don’t understand. Thanks. Bye.”
Later, when I called him back he had some more questions.
“I always thought Jesus would come back, but can you tell me why he decided to take the train when he did?” he asked sarcastically, referring to President Barack Hussein Obama’s one-day “whistle stop” inaugural train journey from Philadelphia to the U.S. capital.
My spidey-sense tells me that many other conservatives besides my father feel this way. All the stars of stage and screen in addition to a crowd of up to 2 million people gathered to witness the ceremony to much fanfare. Compare that with the protests and egg-throwings at the last two Bush swearing-in ceremonies and some hurt feelings on the other side of the aisle are inevitable.
In an effort to to soothe some of those raw nerves, here’s a few excerpts from Obama’s speech that should give every American cause for celebration. (And not just because we have a Democrat in office and not just because our new president is the first mixed-race leader we’ve ever had):
“As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.”
Sweeping declarations, lip service and bluster have become a hallmark of inaugural speeches. This fact is made evident by a simple scanning of previous addresses. Presidents of yore seemed compelled to recount the finer points of their policies in excruciating detail and then some.
For example, President #9, William Henry Harrison spat out snore-worthy sentences like:
“If the opinion of the most approved writers upon that species of mixed government which in modern Europe is termed monarchy in contradistinction to despotism is correct, there was wanting no other addition to the powers of our Chief Magistrate to stamp a monarchical character on our Government but the control of the public finances.”
His address, delivered in a snow storm, ran for an hour and forty-five minutes and ended up killing him as he was felled by pneumonia a month later.
In effort to be remembered for more than just dying from inflammatory illnesses of the lung, recent presidents have learned to deliver punchy one-liners that soar high above things like detail and explanation. These generalities often prove meaningless as soon as they actually begin their terms, with some seemingly on a mission to systematically pull apart every promise they made after reciting the oath.
Obama, though, proved true to his word on this point. After only 24 hours in office he issued an order to “close the Guantanamo prison, ban torture and upend Bush administration polices on terror suspects,” according to the Associated Press.
Three cheers for habeas corpus!
“We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers.”
During the holiday seasons of the last decade we’ve known each other, my old college roommate will often complain to me that there aren’t any holidays that allow atheists like him to celebrate on a federally-recognized basis.
“How can you ask people to celebrate the belief in nothing?” I would ask him without fail every December.
“That’s not the point,” he’ll say. “It’s not fair.”
Well, Jonathan, we’re not there, yet, but the above quote represents a good start.
True, Obama picked Rev. Rick Warren to deliver his innaugural invocation and he himself quoted scripture in his address.
But at least giving a shout-out to the approximately 52 percent of the world population that adheres to Islam, Judaism, Hinduism or non-religious beliefs has already gone a long way to repairing some bridges.
“This crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous.”
Taken alongside recent presidents and contenders for the job, Obama looks downright poor:
• According to Bush’s tax returns for the year 2007, his net worth was recorded as high as $19,374,000.
• Hillary Clinton, former first lady and Obama rival turned newly minted secretary of state, reported a 2007 net worth of up to $51,216,999.
• Bush’s last opponent for office, Sen. John Forbes Kerry, reported a net worth in 2004 that ranged anywhere between $236,689,485 to $312,460,164, making him the richest senator that year.
• Sen. John McCain, Obama’s Republican rival for the White House, had...oh, why do I even need to bother? (The man couldn’t even remember how many houses he owned.)
• Obama, meanwhile, reported a relatively modest personal net worth of between $2,022,016 to $7,356,000 in 2007, a fraction of what the average senator reported that year.
Having someone in office who has not made their life’s goal to amass as much money as possible before expiring is critical in a time when, according to one report, the richest 2 percent of adults in the world now own more than half the world’s wealth. (And counting.)
“We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost.”
Do my ears deceive me? Did he just say...Yes, he did! He said the word “science”! We have a president who believes in science! USA! USA! USA!
“The world has changed, and we must change with it.”
Amen.